Wanted: One Good Listener

How do you feel when someone listens intently to what you say?

            Numerous years ago, a friend and I taught a class of children for Wednesday night Bible study. We were continually being interrupted as first one and then another had to tell us something important that couldn’t possibly wait another minute. At the end of the session, Dorothy and I looked at each other and said, “Did they get anything at all out of this teaching with the million rabbit trails we went down?”

            We did some brainstorming about the cause of the disturbances and decided that these children wanted to be heard. A majority of them came from less than perfect home situations and we wondered if anyone ever listened to them. We came up with a plan for the next Wednesday.

            When they arrived for the next class, we had them sit in a big circle on the floor. Once everyone was there we explained the plan. First, each person would get a chance to share one thing with the class. Second, we would not ask any questions while in the circle. If more information was wanted, they could get together and talk after class. Third, we would each show respect for the person talking by giving them our full attention by sitting still, not talking, and looking at the speaker.

            It took several weeks to really get the showing respect part, but the transformation was amazing. After the sharing circle, the children were ready to engage in the study. They went home happy because someone had taken the time to listen to them and the teachers went home happy because we felt successful.

            What about you? Are you a good listener? For some people it takes intentional practice to learn to be a good listener. Here are some tips to improving listening skills:

            Eye Contact: It’s very important to look into the eyes of the speaker. When you look everywhere but at them, they think you are distracted and don’t care about their thoughts.

            Body Language: Standing or sitting with your arms crossed in front of you at chest level, gives the speaker the impression you are blocked off and not taking in his ideas. Leaning toward the speaker, even slightly, and watching her shows you are interested in what is being said. Throw in a smile and a nod or two at appropriate times and she’ll know she is doing a good job.

            It’s Not About You: Hearing another person does not require your input, except to keep the conversation going. Keep your mouth closed and don’t interrupt. Limit distractions, resist multi-tasking, and let them do the talking.

            Good listening skills will enhance your quiet time with God each day. The hints here apply to that relationship as well. God will speak to us if we settle ourselves in His presence and listen for His voice. Jesus tells us, "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." John 10:27

            There are millions of people out there who don’t have a soul who will listen to them. Who will you listen to today?

Going out with joy today looking for people who need a listening ear-

Cathy

Who Knew?

Cathy and Mary Jane
at Barnes and Noble
Chattanooga, TN

              Who knew what kind of adventures we were in for as we entered the Chattanooga location into “Rosie the Road Warrior,” as my friend affectionately calls her GPS? Mary Jane and I had been invited to participate in a book signing for Pearls of Promise, a devotional which includes some of our work. It was our first ever book signing and we were elated. Never having done a book signing we weren’t sure what to expect in Chattanooga.

            We knew we would be meeting the editors/authors who compiled the book for use in their ministry to women, another lady or two who authored some of the included devotions, and some friends of the ministry. A supper meeting at The Boathouse Rotisserie near the Tennessee River would be our first face-to-face. Rosie did a fabulous job of getting us to our hotel. Sandra, another author, was staying at the same hotel, so we met her in the lobby and got acquainted as we rode to supper. It took Rosie and navigation help from two smart phones to get us there but we didn’t let that spoil our evening of good food and lively conversation.

            After lunch at Sticky Fingers the next day, the entourage moved to Barnes and Noble to take part in Celebration of Faith Day. We were greeted by Kelly, the store manager, who introduced us to the other authors being featured. He explained that Ginger Sanders had to cancel because her husband was in a serious accident. As one, our group and Kelly joined hands to pray for her husband and their family. Who knew you could pray right there in front of God and everybody at the main entrance to Barnes and Noble in Chattanooga, TN?

            It didn’t stop there. The first person to come to our table was Robert, a young man who decided he would buy our book for his wife, Rebecca, who was at home with their seventeen week old son. He told us his son’s story: Ethan was born nine weeks early with his intestines on the outside of his body. He has spent all but the last three weeks of his life in the hospital. Mary Jane asked if we could pray for Ethan and Robert eagerly agreed. Mary Jane, Sandra and I surrounded Robert and prayed for this precious child and his family.

            Again, it didn’t stop there. I looked up from signing a book and witnessed author Rita Carr and Karen Hauser of Pearls of Promise praying together for each other’s ministries with women. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could sense the depth and sincerity of their prayers. This scene repeated itself over and over as we alternated signing books, mingling with the shoppers, and praying with hurting people.

            Who knew when we left North Carolina we would spend more time in ministry than signing books? God’s ways are not our ways. I am filled to the brim with thankfulness that everyone on the Pearls of Promise team proved to be flexible and open to God’s plan over their own.

Going out with joy today opting for God’s plan over my own-

Cathy

 

A Gem in my Path

Ruth Brown
Still Driving at 96 years old

I spent some time yesterday with a dear friend who is ninety-eight years old. Within the last six months she voluntarily moved to a nursing home, mainly motivated by fear. She doesn’t walk anywhere without her walker anymore, afraid of falling and breaking a hip. The home she’s occupied since she was two years old sits empty. Even before she moved, she wouldn’t stay there at night anymore because she was mortally afraid (her words) to stay by herself. She spent many a night in my guest room over the last four years.

I met Ruth Thompson Brown in the early ‘80s when she was the director for the combined choirs from Gilboa, Gilkey and Thermal City Methodist churches. She was spunky and knew what she wanted and wouldn’t settle for any less. She would have us take a piece of music, study the words for about two minutes and then she’d say, “Okay, put the words down by your side and sing.” And she meant it. She expected the best from us and didn’t want anything to impede the best performance we could produce. Pep talks included the fact that God had given us good minds and there was no reason not to use them. She stretched our thinking and our doing.

She taught seventh and eighth grades for 40+ years, using unconventional methods to  her students along. She’s told me success stories of nonreaders or slow readers she worked with, tailoring a program for each one based on their particular learning style. Most of those children went on to college or to jobs where they became productive citizens who supported their families. I think knowing she cared about them played a big part in their improvement.

Miss Ruth called me Tuesday afternoon and said, “I’m lonely, lonely, lonely. Will you come by when you can?” I had planned to stop by after Bible Study on Wednesday so I told her I’d see her about 2:30 the next day.  When I drove up she was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch of the facility.  I got out and asked if she’d like to go for a ride and get some ice cream. She was as thrilled as a small child would be when presented with that question. I signed her out and off we went like two teenagers on a lark, talking and laughing. It was a beautiful day for a ride.

When we returned and I signed her back in, she asked me if I wanted to know what advice she’d give young people. Of course, I did. “First,” she said, “always be right with the Lord. Always.” She continued with, “Do what you want to do while you’re young. You may get sick or not live to be old and you’ll miss out on a lot of life.” Sage advice, I’d say, from someone who has experienced a huge chunk of life.

Jesus came to give His children life and that more abundantly. Mrs. Ruth Thompson Brown may not have worldly wealth but she has stored up an abundance of riches in the people she has loved along the way. I count myself blessed to be one of those. Who are the gems God has placed in your path? I hope you’ll share them with my readers

Going out with joy today-

Cathy

Jesus said. . .”I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.”   John 10:10 ESV

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.     Matthew 6:19-20 ESV

God is up to Something Good!

Rutherford County,
North Carolina

            God is up to something in Rutherford County, North Carolina. He is working in the hearts of women here to cause them to hunger and thirst for His Word. Here’s my evidence:

CommunityBible Study International

            I have taken on a new role this year as a Core Group Leader for CBS. CBS started in this county with a handful of women who met for prayer and Bible Study. They had a fire burning within them to fulfill the CBS Vision: “Making disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ in our communities through caring, in-depth Bible study, available to all.” Their heart’s desire today is the same: to allow women to experience the truth of the scriptures and the caring nature of CBS.

            At the end of May, 2013, one hundred and twenty women completed the study of Revelation begun in September, 2012. That was an amazing, unprecedented number of participants. In six years, it had grown from 47 women to 120!

            All through the summer, as the leaders met for training, the pre-registration report was given. The first report showed that 120 women had registered, then140 women. Leadership prayed they would be able to shepherd all these women and at the same time, we were praising God for each woman He sent our way.

 The study of First John began on September 11^th with 160 women registered and 14 additional ladies showing up to register that day. Every Wednesday since then, we’ve had a few new sheep join the fold. We are currently at 180 plus ladies. God is up to something good!

Sister Chicks for Christ

            Monday I attended the Sister Chicks for Christ Ladies Night Out at our local college. Well known Christian author, Angela Thomas, brought the house down with her exposition on Hebrews 12:1-2. With transparency, vulnerability, humor and tenderness she pointed us to the truth of the scripture and to the feet of Jesus. Many accepted Christ as Lord and Savior. Many re-dedicated themselves to an everyday walk with Jesus. This ministry started as a circle of friends meeting in a living room to pray for women in our county.

About eleven years ago, the ladies decided to reach out to other women in the community through an annual Ladies Night Out. Twelve women came that first year. Undaunted, the founders prepared for the next year’s night out and prayed for more to attend. About six hundred attended last year. When I went to the box office to buy tickets for our writers group, I asked the attendant how sales were going. She answered, “They are going real well. We’ve had to open up balcony seating and we’ve never had to do that for this event.” We arrived on Monday night to signs saying SOLD OUT. Every one of the twelve hundred seats held a lady ready to worship and learn. From twelve to twelve hundred ladies in eleven years. God is up to something good!

He said, ¹“And I, when I am lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself.” Our job is easy: speak the name of Jesus in our everyday conversations and God will do the work of wooing people to Himself. In another portion of scripture, ²He tells us His word will accomplish the work He sent it to do. If we will use scripture in our prayers and conversations with people, His words will make things happen. It cannot fail. The pressure is off of us so let’s get busy in our neighborhoods and communities.

I’d love to hear what God is up to in your community. Leave a comment so I can praise Him with you.

Going out with joy today, speaking His name-

Cathy

¹John 12:32 (ESV)

²Isaiah 55:11 (ESV)   “so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth;
                                                          it shall not return to me empty,
                                               but it shall accomplish that which I purpose,
                                           and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

He Said it Was Good

          Several months ago I went to the dentist for my regular six-month appointment. The hygienist cleaned my teeth and raved about the health of my gums. The dentist came in, did his exam, told me to keep up the good work and told me he’d see me in six months.

A lady came in and asked permission to talk to me. A little confused about her role in the office and what she could possibly want to talk about, I agreed to listen. She began, “I see you have several metal fillings. Some are in your smile line and cause your teeth to have a grayish cast. We can change those fillings to white fillings which will whiten up your smile line. When you pay for one, we’ll pay for one.”

          My head was spinning with one thought after the other. I’ve had these fillings since I was a child and they have given me no trouble. Do they really think I’d let them drill them out and replace them with white fillings just to improve my smile line after all these years? I could smell the acrid odor of the drilling as I pictured the scene. My toes wanted to curl in my shoes at the thought of voluntarily coming in to be tortured.

* * *

          My granddaughter, sitting in the backseat as we motored toward town, asked me, “Grandma, did your hair used to be black.” I said it was and asked why she was asking. Her reply, “I was just looking at your eyebrows.” My hair, once a dark, dark brown, turned gray while I was in my thirties. Over the years, I have been asked by more than one person why I don’t dye it. My response has always been, “I think God is doing a pretty good job of it all by Himself

* * *

          At my great granddaughter’s first birthday party I met a young man who introduced himself by saying, “My name is Charley* and I hate brown hair.” It seems this three-year old was born with blonde hair and as he’s gotten older, it has darkened. Some family members and others have commented on this in his presence and he processed it as being a negative thing. Now there is a little boy walking around thinking he is less than he should be because of the color of his hair.

* * *

          Have we become a society which values people based only on their pristine outward appearance?

* * *

          On the day God created you, He took extra care to choose all the parts that make you who you are. When He finished, He stood back and looked at you and said, “Um mmmmmm! She/he is good. This is some of my best work! Perfect, no corrections needed.” What happened between the perfection He saw and society feeding us the line, “your smile is imperfect? Let us fix that for you. Your hair is the wrong color. Let me dye it for you.”

          In 2011, $10 billion was spent on 9,200 plastic surgery procedures in America. Half a billion dollars is spent each year on hair dyeing and hair dyeing products. $40 billion is spent annually on weight loss systems and products. These are just a few of the costs associated with changing our outward appearance to make ourselves more appealing to those around us.

          There are no estimates available for the costs we incur to make ourselves more appealing to God.

Going out with joy today, satisfied to be who I am-

Cathy

*Name changed 

What Do You Smell Like?

         

My thirteen year old granddaughter, Morgan, has a heightened sense of smell. My father did, too. He claimed he could tell what we were having for supper three blocks away from home. Before I started having allergies, my nose used to be sensitive, but not nearly as fine-tuned as either of theirs.

          Morgan, who lives four hours away from me, sat next to me in our recliner on their last visit home. She leaned toward me and took a big sniff. It kind of repelled me at first, but then she explained she loved my smell. I asked what I smelled like, but got, “I don’t know. You smell like you.”

          Over the years I had heard that animals use their sense of smell to help them survive. My husband raises beef cattle so I focused my research on cows and I found some amazing facts:

·      Cows' highly sensitive noses can smell odors up to six miles away.

·      They use smell to recognize their herd mates, especially their babies, and to recognize humans.

·      Cows can smell fear in the urine of other cows.

·      When hit, slapped, or shouted at, the stressed cow will send a smell warning to other cows to stay away.

·      Milking time should remain calm and consistent, and be lacking in unpleasant odors. It’s true, happy cows do give more milk.

What do I smell like? Here’s what sent my thoughts in this direction this morning. My morning Quiet Time scripture was 2 Corinthians 2:14-17 (NCV):

¹⁴ But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ’s victory parade. God uses us to spread his knowledge everywhere like a sweet-smelling perfume. ¹⁵ Our offering to God is this: We are the sweet smell of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are being lost. ¹⁶ To those who are lost, we are the smell of death that brings death, but to those who are being saved, we are the smell of life that brings life. So who is able to do this work? ¹⁷ We do not sell the word of God for a profit as many other people do. But in Christ we speak the truth before God, as messengers of God.

              I went to church with a man who always wore a certain brand of after shave. He hugged me one Sunday during greeting time in the service and for the rest of the day, when there was the slightest breeze or hint of moving air, I could smell the scent he left behind.

          This verse makes me wonder what I smell like as I interact with people. Do I wear the sweet smell of abundant life that comes from my relationship with God? When I start my day hugging God, do I carry His scent with me all day for others to experience and desire? 

          What about you? What do you smell like? 

Going out with joy today-

Cathy

Rules, Rules, Rules - Part Two

Moses with the Ten Commandments

My last post was about the Ten Commandments and how some people are put off by the negatives of the “Thou shall not” wording. This post, let's explore that thinking by examining the freedom that is ours when we follow the commandments.

Exodus 20, The Ten Commandments (NKJV)

 And God spoke all these words, saying: ² “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. ³ “You shall have no other gods before Me.

⁴ “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; ⁵ you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, ⁶ but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

            Putting these two commandments first on the list addresses the issues that most perturbed God at the time of the wilderness journey. God had delivered the people and was meeting their every need, and yet, at every opportunity, they found or created objects to claim their attention. Even while Moses was on the mountain receiving the Commandments from God, the travelers were in the valley below melting their gold jewelry and worshipping the image of the calf they formed out of the gold.

            Positive #1 – I am free to place my full attention on God, my Guide, my Deliverer, and my Provider. I am free to receive God’s love and mercy and I am free from the threat of God’s curse on future generations of my family.

⁷ “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

            The Hebrew word for vain translates as emptiness, vanity, falsehood. God’s name itself is holy. Any unholy use of His name comes with consequences.

            Positive #2 – I am free to call on God by any name that honors who He is. Within that broad range, I am free to be creative in my relationship with Him.       

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

            This commandment gives us a glimpse into God’s thought process as He created the human body. If God rested after His labors, and we are created in His image, then we need rest.

            Positive #3 – I am free to cease my labor one day a week without guilt because God designed my body to need rest.

¹² “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.

This commandment is already stated positively and is the only one that comes with a promise.

¹³ “You shall not murder.

            Life is not ours to give or take. We overstep our bounds when we take this work of God into our hands.

            Positive #4 – I am free to support life by all means available to me. The Bible tells us the power of life and death is in the tongue. I am free to speak life to the people around me. I am free to share the good news of the abundant life Jesus came to give us.

¹⁴ “You shall not commit adultery.

            When we turn aside from our marriage partner to find sexual fulfillment with another or turn away from The God of Israel to idolatrous worship, we commit adultery.

Cathy and Larry 03/08/69

            Positive #5 – I am free to love God with my whole being - mind, body, soul, and strength. I am free to pour out my love and support to the one God gave me as a life mate.

¹⁵ “You shall not steal.

            Positive #6 – I am free to use my energy to work and earn a wage so that I can purchase what I need. I am free to use what I accumulate to bless others.

¹⁶ “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

            Positive #7 – I am free and encouraged to always tell the truth. The truth will make me free (John 8:32 KJV). Truth is a powerful ally.

¹⁷ “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

Positive #8 – I am free to be satisfied with the things that belong to me and free to be happy for my neighbor’s accumulation of worldly possessions.

The commandments God gave His people were not meant to bind us, but to give us freedom. Have you appropriated His freedoms for your life?

Going out with joy and freedom today-

Cathy

Rules, Rules, Rules - Part One

              A few years ago as the congregation entered the church service, we were handed a test on the Ten Commandments. Most of us would have received a failing grade if we’d been in a classroom. Anticipating these results, our Pastor asked us to concentrate on learning the Ten Commandments over the next month. We all made a much higher grade on the next test.

              Prior to God giving Moses the commandments on Mt. Sinai, the people lived under 613 Levitical Laws covering everything from personal relationships, health and worship. The people were overwhelmed by the number of rules they had to remember, let alone live by. God narrowed the list from 613 laws to just ten. The condensed list gave the Israelites a breath of relief even though all of the previous laws were rolled into those ten..

The Ten Commandments are both vertical and horizontal.

 

The first four are vertical, detailing our relationship with God.
 (Exodus 20)

            ² “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. ³ “You shall have no other gods before Me.

⁴ “You shall not make for yourself a carved image—any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; ⁵ you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, ⁶ but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.

⁷ “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.

The last six are horizontal, helping us live peacefully with our neighbors.

¹² “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

¹³ “You shall not murder.”

¹⁴ “You shall not commit adultery.”

¹⁵ “You shall not steal.”

¹⁶ “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.”

¹⁷ “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor’s.”

Many people are put off by the “You shall not” language in the commandments. In God’s dealings with His people, He found them to need specific instructions about what they could and could not do. He could not assume they would take His teachings and know innately what was required.

              By the time Jesus came along, the people and their understanding had changed somewhat. When Jesus was being tested by the religious leaders to name the most important commandment, He felt he could narrow even the ten down to just two: 1) Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and 2) love your neighbor as yourself. (Luke 10:27)

              The result is the same, whether you have 613, 10 or 2 laws to live by to please God. It calls for a desire to love God and love your neighbors. It calls for actions that demonstrate that desire in our everyday life.

              Are you one of those who gets turned off when told you can’t do this or that? Join me next week as I turn the negatives into positives. I think it will give you a new way to look at the commandments God gifted us with.

Going out with joy today-

Cathy

Perfection

     

Hello, my name is Cathy and I am a perfectionist. I have been plagued with being a perfectionist as far back as I can remember. Although I’ve mellowed in recent years, if there had been a Twelve-Step Program for perfectionists when I was younger, it would have been helpful.

Perfection: the quality of something that is as good or suitable as it can possibly be, or to strive for perfection as a goal.

When you are a perfectionist you:

Take on Extra Work – Delegation is a Biblical principle that began while the Israelites were wandering in the desert. I failed to appropriate this blessing because the evil gremlin on my shoulder shouted at me, “No one can do it like you can. Do it yourself so you’ll know it’s done right.” Here is how this manifested itself in my home:

              When my children were young I decided it was time for them to learn how to do some of the cleaning. I made a chart with step-by-step instructions on cleaning the bathroom. I took the two of them and the chart into the bathroom and demonstrated the ease of doing it the right way, a.k.a. “my way.” The next week, I sent them in to do it themselves. I nearly went berserk when they disregarded my chart and careful instructions and did the steps out of order and didn’t use my proven methods. I fussed at them until they started to cry. That’s when the wake-up call came from God asking me, “Is it important the cleaning gets done your way or that it gets done and they learn a life skill?” I had to apologize to both of them and repent to God for my behavior.

Take on Troubled Interpersonal Relationships – It’s odd how your best asset can also be your worst deficit. I held high expectations for myself but I expected the same thing from others. I was continually disappointed when they didn’t produce to my standards. I did great work, but, at the same time, I alienated people. When they offered to help on a project and I declined, they felt I didn’t have confidence in their work. Hurt feelings often ensued.

Take on Criticism – My mother, a perfectionist herself, told me many times, “I don’t know why you always do things the hard way” meaning I didn’t do them her way. In school, I was called St. John (my maiden name) because I always did all my assignments on-time, did more than was expected, and ruined the class grading curve. Other times when I was called out for excellent results on a project, I’d see someone in the room roll their eyes or say to the person next to them, “This really gets old. Who does she think she is?”

              Being a perfectionist takes a toll on a person. Thankfully, Jesus, my wonderful counselor, helped me adopt a new personal mantra a couple years ago – “Be gentle with yourself.” It has done wonders for me. I’ve shared it with people I encounter who are being hard on themselves and they are helped.

I hope when you find yourself stressed, you will take the advice Jesus gave me, and “Be gentle with yourself.”

 

Going out with joy and gentleness today-

Cathy

Isaiah 9:6  Unto us a child is born and the government (order) will be upon His shoulders.

He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace.